Woops 10 Page Paper Replaced by Surreal Day

After accidentally driving to Monticello and back last night, I was determined to accomplish something productive today. The fact that I have a paper due for my Presbyterian Polity class I took June 27 - July 1 this summer had been weighing heavily on my mind for the past week. I thought I had until September 9th to complete the 10 page assignment.

The paper should reflect your understanding of a topic of pility and leadership in the Presbyterian Church U.S.A. I will be looking for evidence of your understanding of the Book of Order, the Directory for Worship, and/or the Rules of Discipline and how they apply to a particular context in ministry...

So, after staying up until 2am last night I woke up bright and early at 7:30am ready to go. Well, when I dug the papers out of their hiding place I discovered that the paper was not due this Friday but tomorrow by 4pm. I scrambled through the house to gather the research I had done in July for my topic--Ordination of Openly Queer Persons of God in the Presbyterian Church (U.S.A): The Dam is Leaking!

Having cleaned myself and eaten for departure, I leave on the bike for my office and after checking my email I promptly take a nap. "Rests the brain." An hour later, I get up and waste some more time reading email, checking blogs, and reading slashdot. I've been avoiding refined sugar for the past month now and for some reason my body was craving it after my nap. I couldn't get the thought out of my mind. I almost went to the store and bought some Oreo Cookies but opted to get a can of Mountain Dew. Now, I haven't had a Mt. Dew in at least a year and this one was magical. I thought it would be healthier if I went for a walk as I drank the dew and found myself sitting in the SJC Lourdes Grotto. I finished the can in about two minutes and just sat still. Sitting in the sun next to little pond with a water fall (not the one with the statues of Mary praying to Mary), I don't move a muscle. I'm frozen in the buzz of The Dew gazing at a colony of honey bees drink water from the pond. The bees were awesome with 30-40 of them stopping at a time. I felt a certain kind of reassurance and power as I realized I wasn't afraid of being 6-12 inches away from a swarm of bees. I've always dreamed of having the privilege of taking care of a hive of honey bees. I think it all started when I was six years old and a friend and I were "collecting bees" and I had one bee that I was going to collect simply land on my foot and I watched it slowly sting me and then fly away. That bee killed itself to save the lives of its brothers and sisters. How noble!

Awaking from my dream like state by the pond, I noticed there were chipmunks, squirrels, and a person watching me in my statuesque state. One squirrel was actually trying to get a drink from the pond but the bees were chasing it away and sending the squirrel a few feet in the air every so often. I tried to regain my meditative state with the bees again, but an hour had passed on the first stint and as such the moment had passed. I left the Grotto and collected the bike for a round-trip home to get some coffee.

Upon arriving home, I was distracted by the flock of birds in my back yard. I watched them for about 10 minutes and became very sleepy. I took another nap. I chuckled when I woke from my nap at 4:20 with a burst of creative energy. I have a basket on the bike so I can carry food from the grocery or "office items" to and from work. The two flaws with the basket are that it is not very securely attached to the bike and I'm afraid it will just bounce off. Also, because Rensselaer is not bike friendly when I do carry things in the basket they tend to bounce themselves and I have to keep a hand on top to secure the contents. I gathered what I needed: a pair of scissors, kite string, small zip ties, a bread knife, and a piece of sturdy cardboard. I first fashioned the cardboard as a lid for the basket using the bread knife to cut it to size and the zip ties to secure it to the top. This solved the problem of the flying contents. Though I realized at that moment I need a latch for the front of the basket to keep the lid closed. That would have to come later. The next part was easy. I just used the kite string and scissors to secure the hooking apparatus of the basket to the bike more permanently. When all was said and done I declared with a bit of glee in my voice the new name for the bike (not that it had a name before): Ghetto Bike Version 3.972--Optimized!

I was sad to find only a few beans left for coffee but no matter I needed to go to the store to get sealant for the cardboard and a latch to keep it closed. I could get the coffee, the half and half, and some cheeze-its on the way! While I was running my errands I was distracted by a wireless outdoor/indoor thermometer and by a growing sense of hunger. I satisfied both distractions by purchasing the thermometer and stopping by Taco Bell to pick up some soft shell tacos. Up to this point in the day I had spent all of my time communing with nature and my inner thoughts. This was the first real interaction of the day and it was somewhat surreal to say the least. I walked up to the cash register and everything seemed to move in slow motion. Even my voice sounded lower as if I had entered some sort of time distortion. I just stared at the two employees behind the counter with a blank expression on my face. It was as if each of us had forgotten how to interact with other humans. Like we were lost in our own isolation lacking any sense of community. I placed my order and was handed 32oz cup. As I walking to the fountain drink station the banter behind the counter takes a very odd turn. One of the guys behind the counter starts smacking a meat scoop against his latex glove and says, "you know what that sound is?" To which the other employee responds by rapidly doing a one hand clap in his latex gloves. It was a very good impression of someone masturbating and as such they both laughed. I, on the other hand, go and fill my 32oz cup with some ice and immediately went for the Mountain Dew fountain.

I now sit here wasting more time blogging. I actually started this entry a hour and a half ago. All I can think is, "Remember that time I woke up at 7:30 am to write a 10 page paper but got high on Mountain Dew and spent the entire day talking to bees, squirrels, and birds; created an optimized ghetto bike; and didn't start the paper until late evening?"

The theme songs for today are going to be: The Pusher by Steppenwolf, and I was Made to Love Magic by Nick Drake

2005-09-05 19:40